confessions
written @ 10:53 a.m. on 2003-08-01

So I am a little upset. I decided to get a review done on this place, not because I really care what someone thinks about what I write, but because I wanted to see if there were some things that I should add to make it easier to read. My reviewer was a nice 16 year old girl, had 1 suggestion in that department. It was to add a previous, next button. I was thinking that I would like to add one anyways, so this was some great advice. If anyone would tell me how, that would be much appreciated. I have learnt many things since starting this diary, and it appears that this was not one of them.

So on to why I am a little upset. Her review said that my layout and extras were good, but my content is not. Now I know this is not why I had the review done, but it still bothers me. This girl is over 10 years my junior, and so does not know where I am coming from. This is not her fault or mine, that is just the way it is. She said that I write about the same old everyday things over and over again. Well that is my life. I live the same old everyday things every day. She said that I should put some emotion into my diary, but really she doesn�t know how hard that would be for me to do.

I do have morals, and opinions. I do feel very strongly about certain subjects, but I don�t know if I want to write about them in here. I worry constantly, and have these unfounded fears, but if I write about them, talk about them, then they will begin to feel more real. I don�t know if I am ready, or secure enough to deal with them.

I know that one day I will have to deal with my past, and how it is effecting my life everyday. I know this and it scares me. Strange how a 16 year old girl, that at this moment I can�t remember her name, could teach me a lesson, and scare me this badly.

Maybe it is time to start deciding who I am, why I am this way, and what can I do to fix what is broken. Believe me there is a lot that needs to be fixed.

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