unconditional love, my ass
written @ 8:46 a.m. on 2003-12-31

I just finished updating my list of books. I only went back a month, because I didn't the list to be to long.

The holidays are more or less finally over. I am going to take down the decoations today, so that really symbolizes the end for me. Christmas day was good. We spent it with Sylvia and Mike and their family as planned. There was no pressure, no worrying about who Peter and I were going to offend, and which family member was going to hold something against us for the next year.

It was the first Christmas we hadn't spent with either of our families since before bug was born, and for once it was relaxing. We are friends with these people and their family and so they never judge us, they just accept us. It was a nice change. Of course we had to come back to reality afterwards though.

Peter and I went the city a couple of days ago, took Trevor his mail and went for lunch with him. He went on to inform us at how mad everyone in the family is at us. Mom and Tammy haven't called yet this holiday. Jason got engaged and never called us, Tammy bought a house and never told us. And how dare Peter and I keep Sydney away from all of them at Christmas.

None of them understand that this was not about keeping bug from them, this was about us being together and all us enjoying ourselves. In the end they never missed Peter and I, it was only bug. None of them understand how little time we get together, how hard it is for us to travel to see them, they always say it's not that long of a drive, but they never come here. Strange how that works.

Needless to say, I have managed to keep my black sheep status for another year. If it's not our hair colors, or the piercings, it us being selfish, or to liberal, or to broke, or always something.

I am so tired of being me and still never being good enough, or proper enough or something enough. Whatever happened to unconditional family love.

To change the topic, we got Sarah fixed this week. She was driving us crazy, and although I felt horribly guilty for leaving her at the vets when she looked so scared, the change has been wonderful. No more screaching all night long. Though she looks very skinny now, and she was very skinny to start with.

Back to Christmas for a second.

If you ask bug what her favorite present was(which I did) she would tell you,"having you and daddy home with me for so long." Isn't she a sweetheart. That has been my favorite part also. Sadly Peter goes back to work in 2 days, and then soon after I do to. Neither bug or Marion want to go back to school. Really I don't blame them.

Well time to go do some stuff. My rant is over for now.

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