This is my life.
written @ 11:12 a.m. on 2003-06-23

As usual at this very moment I am hearing Sydney crying over some ridiculously small thing that Peter wouldn't let her have. She was watching TV in my bedroom and wanted a drink, so she asked Peter for one. He put it into a glass and told her to leave it the table. So of course this is the end of the world because dhe wants it in a "bottle". Now I would have given it to her. A bottle in her view is anything with a lid: a water bottle, a plastic juice box or even a sippy cup. I have said that she is getting to old for the sippy cups and I don't want her to use them anymore, but Peter had to turn this in to a big deal about how she will be usuing baby cups until she is 45 years old. I have just explained to him that this is an insult for a child of 5, and how she does not yet get his sense of humour. So while she is throwing another crying fit, he is getting mad at me.

How much longer until he goes back to work already. I wish it would stop raining.

This is my life. My husband either does nothing at all in the form of constructive upbringing or he takes things to the max. My daughter is either so happy and loud that she gives me a headache, or she is constantly whinning about something, trying to get her way. There are no happy mediums anymore. We live in a feast or famine lifestyle. We either have no money at all, or we have enough to get ahead(this is kess often lately though).

I have been walking around like a zombie for weeks, thinking that my life was not supposed to be this way. Thinking about all of the what if's. I know that this makes me sound selfish, but it is still how I feel.

If only something really amazing could happen, if only things would were different.

I don't feel well, and that will be my excuse for todays pouting. I was at the stupid Precision BBQ yesterday. There was a shelter but what kids want to spend all of their time in such cramped courters. So they played in the endless rain, and since I was really the only one that didn't say go play everytime they needed something, guess who got supervision duties. Thats right, I spent most of my time with the kids. Half of them I was related to, and the others I have babysat or have come to play at my house at some time.

So took them to the lake, or the outhouse(kids do not like outhouses), cleaned them up when they fell in the mud, warmed up their hands(only 5*C), and I think I opened at least 50 freezies(my mouth hurts from that one). But when a cute, drenched kid says "Aunty, please", what kind of person would I be to say no.

Anyways that would explain the headcold, slight earache, and aching teeth this morning. Yet again, this is my life.

� || �